Ohio’s Statehouse Adds Full-Scale Bar

Ohio’s Capitol building is adding a bar that will sell beer, wine, and liquor, and feature “private happy hours” for Ohio lawmakers.

There will be no guns allowed in this bar, even though Ohio’s GOP Governor John Kasich signed a bill into law this week that allows Ohio gun owners to carry concealed weapons into bars.

What? You think your politicians want to get shot while tying one on? Ha!

The Columbus Dispatch reported on Friday that the Columbus statehouse will add its first ever full-scale bar within the next month that will be located where the existing coffee restaurant is on the building’s lower.

An Ohio agency that oversees the Statehouse said that the bar will be stocked with beer, wine, liquor, multiple flat-screen televisions and will hold “private happy hours” for state lawmakers and at certain as yet unspecified times, to the public. Suuuuure it will.

The new Statehouse bar really shouldn’t be too shocking to Ohioans. Afterall, Gov. Kasich’s economic recovery plan for Ohio is centered around alcohol:

Kasich last week unveiled his state budget proposal, which includes a plan to lease the state’s liquor distribution operation — which of late has drawn record profits — and use the cash to fund his private economic development machine.Since floating the idea earlier this year, the Republican governor says there have been plenty of potential takers. In fact, Ohioans’ propensity to consume more than ever, according to recent figures, has influenced the governor’s idea most.

“Over the years people drink more. It’s just a natural revenue stream,” Kasich said last Tuesday while outlining his proposal, drawing a smattering of laughter from reporters. “So, everybody wanted to buy it. Everybody was interested in it.”

But the governor says he isn’t making the liquor sales operation available to the open market. Instead, he’s keeping it in-house. Kasich has created JobsOhio, a private economic development corporation that will eventually replace the Ohio Department of Development and take over that agency’s main role of job recruitment and retention.

Now if you happen to be spending your last dimes drowning your sorrows after your Ohio home is foreclosed upon by wealthy bankers — or your job is outsourced to a foreign country in order to save even more money for the super-rich who make up the top 1% of the nation (The ones who are supposed to create jobs, which is the reason the GOP says we don’t dare touch their tax breaks!) you, too, can be helping Ohio’s floundering economy recover.

Perhaps if you’re lucky…Kasich’s brilliant jobs program can get you a job as a barista?