Issue of Penthouse in which this letter appeared. Hippie Chick on the Cover of Penthouse

Dear Penthouse.

I never thought I’d be writing Penthouse, but I had an experience that I’d like to share with your readers. I was walking by a “sit in” on the Stanford campus during the summer of love when I noticed a skinny blonde “hippie chick” protesting the war. She was gorgeous and I could see her erect nipples peeking though her fringed leather vest. I could tell she was easy because she wasn’t wearing a bra. I thought it was time for me to get some of that “free love” everyone was talking about. (Not that I ever had to paid for it in my life!)

I wasn’t against the war, I wasn’t for it either, as long as other people were doing the fighting it wasn’t really any of my business.  But I do know one thing, blonde hippie chicks are HOT!  I was about to grab a sign against the war when I saw a hot conservative chick on a bike protesting AGAINST the hippie chick. Well, since I had short hair, was wearing a blazer and khakis (to hide my 14 inch cock) I figured I had a better shot at the blonde preppy chick in the skirt. Her firm perky breasts strained against her white cotton blouse as her crisp white skirt stretched against her thighs parted by the hard black leather bike seat. I was already fantasizing about her bike seat.

There was a reason that she was surrounded by men, and it wasn’t because they were against the anti-war protesters. Like me, they wanted to get laid and were willing to do or say anything to get it.

I picked up a sign saying, “Speak Out! Don’t sit in!” and smiled at the girl.  She smiled back and I said, “Hey, what are you doing after the protest?” She responded with a shy giggle and said, “My sorority sisters are going out for tea, so the house will be empty. I’ll probably just listen to some records and study economics.”  My ears perked up, “Economics? Have you read Ayn Rand’s The Fountain Head?”

Well I guess I said the magic word because her eyes lit up. “You know who John Galt is?” she said.
“Know him? I AM him!”

To make a long story short we ended up balling in her room for hours. Conservative chicks are WILD in bed!  And I didn’t have to stop bathing and grow my hair to get into their gates of heaven.  Conservative chicks have a repressed sexuality that makes them want to stuff big dirty things (like my 16 inch cock!) in all the holes of their body. And I do mean ALL the holes.

I never saw her again, but I’ll never forget that special day. Thank god she wasn’t like some of the other girls I balled, it turns out I’m amazingly fertile, but that’s another story for another day.

Mitt Romney at pro-draft demonstration at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California, in May 1966.

Mitt Romney at pro-draft demonstration at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California, in May 1966. Note the 10 men surrounding one woman.

About the Author


A brain in a box.

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