Were he alive today, Al Capone would probably be a member in good standing of the US House of Representatives, representing the Great State of Illinois. We’ve all read about Capone, of course, and we know that back in the day thugs and gangsters fought the law. And the law won.
These days, however, the brighter minds among the criminal element have realized that riding through the streets spraying tommy-gun fire all over the place is an ineffective approach to attaining power and wealth. Instead of fighting the law, they all too often become the law.
Which brings us to the patron saint of tax extremism, Douglas Bruce, author of Colorado’s disastrous “Taxpayer Bill of Rights” (TABOR) law. This is a man I have charitably referred to as a “perennial pigfucker” and “Colorado’s most infamous asspipe,” and of whom I once said “may [he] die soon and rot in Hell for all the damage his malevolent bullshit has wreaked on the citizens of Colorado.” Had he lived during prohibition Bruce would perhaps have been a lot like Capone, except instead of mowing down rival gangs one imagines him targeting schools, the poor and Mexicans.
Up until yesterday I’d never thought to compare Bruce and Capone, but then this story dropped:
DENVER (AP) — Colorado anti-tax crusader Douglas Bruce has been indicted on tax evasion charges that allege he failed to report some of his income, including money prosecutors say was funneled to a nonprofit group he founded to fight for limited government spending.
A statewide grand jury indicted Bruce on Thursday. Police arrested him Friday afternoon at a post office in Colorado Springs, but he was released after posting a $10,000 bond, said Mike Saccone, a spokesman for Colorado Attorney General John Suthers.
Oh my. As you’ll recall, The Law finally ran Capone to ground for tax evasion, too.
It’s hard to say where this case will wind up, but as is always true, I wish the same for Doug Bruce as I do for all other living creatures: I hope that he gets precisely what he deserves.
Meanwhile, does anyone know how I might go about volunteering for jury duty?
Samuel Smith lives a double life. Okay, triple life. By day he makes a living as a marketing consultant specializing in high-level strategy, branding, corporate communication and merging media and practices. In his "spare time" he's the executive editor of Scholars & Rogues, where he writes about everything from politics to music to sports to literature. Finally, he's an author of poetry and fiction whose work has appeared or is forthcoming in journals like storySouth, Poet & Critic, New Virginia Review, Cream City Review, High Plains Literary Review, The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature, Pemmican and Uncanny Valley. He holds a BA at Wake Forest and MA from Iowa State, and somehow endured the torturous process of earning a PhD in Communication from the University of Colorado.
"The world is a rigged game"
On winning and values
So, right-wingers, you want a society where families are stable, where everybody looks like you and shares your Christian faith, and where the government pretty much stays out of your business? It’s not in some Randian fantasy, it’s right here in the USA.
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